jaxiemafoozle

Busy at work and arsehole customers!

Sun, 22 Feb 2009 08:52:50 GMT

Here was me thinking since today was Sunday it would be a cruisey day. :shake: Oh lord was I wrong!

First off, I didn't have anyone else in with me supposedly until 12pm when a junior was to come in, then the manager was in at 12:30pm to take over from me, since that was when I was due to end my shift. We had a 13 sub platter ordered for 11:30am so my manager did extra food prep yesterday to help me out so I didn't have to do much in the morning so I could concentrate on the platter.

I saw all the extra prep she did with my own eyes, and yet when I went in this morning I had a fair bit of prep to do, which was all well and good, I managed to get started early and I even managed to get the platter done in good time. I had a reasonable amount of customers through during that time, maybe 4 - 6 an hour which is quite busy especially for a Sunday. (Remember when I said they predict that a person is predicted to make on average 10 subs per hour?)

Anyways, my manager rang to ask if I could stay on until 2 as the junior who was in at 12 had been requested to go work at another store, so I said of course (I always want more hours!) But then asked if I'd be by myself until 12:30 when she was due to come in, she said no she'd come in at 12.

I finished the platter by about 10:45am, which was good, I felt much relieved to have that done, and I was about to concentrate on the rest of the food prep, which I'd had to put on hold to do the platter (I'd done the most important things earlier which was good), and I was taking the bread off the bread forms to stack them in the bread cabinet, just before 11am...

From just before 11am I was serving customers straight - in a row until my manager arrived, not on time, not just a little bit late, but over an hour late, and even then I couldn't stop as we both had to keep serving for at least another half an hour.

Between 11 and 12 I made 19 subs myself. Between 12 and 1pm 30 (though 13 of them were the 13 from the platter - these figures were through the till and they didn't come to pick up until after 12). I think Tammy arrived around 1:15ish. Between 1 and 2pm I think we did 32 between us.

I'm glad almost every single customer was very patient with me, they all had to wait as there was only me to serve them.

The only really bad part to the day was a customer who wanted a club. :irate: A club is on special at the moment for $7. A club has 4 slices of turkey, 2 slices of ham and 2 of beef. It's pretty popular and a pain in the arse to make, just FYI lol. But he didn't want ham on it, he wanted the ham to be beef instead but we can't do that. I told him either he could have the club without the 2 slices of ham and only 2 beef, or he could have the extra beef and pay extra money for it. He then went off at me telling me that he gets it done like that all the time. (Not true.) He said that every other person at the store does it like that. (Not true.) He said that the manager does it for him. (Not true.) I was very polite though adamant, and he was a rude fucker. He told me I was obviously new as everyone does it like that for him and he comes in all the time, but whatever make whatever the hell I wanted. I told him that I'm there every day and we don't do it like that, and then he went on about how he'd never seen me there before and I was obviously lying. Do I work 7 days a week? No (and without letting me have a chance to mention the fact that I even go there on my days off) he got angry and told me to stop lying, I'm such a liar. :argh: Did I mention that I had 3 other customers waiting while he was being so rude? Who also, were very quiet and obviously didn't feel the need to speak up. :roll:

Unfortunately he handed me a voucher which we aren't supposed to allow on the subs on special, but there was no way I was going to create another reason for him to go off on one! I was having enough difficulty choking back my indignation as it was.

I was struggling /soooo/ hard not to become angry and become very rude to him, including swear words, I handed him his change and told him to have a nice day. On the inside I was like the incredible hulk, but red. SOOOO ANGRY!!! I was so angry I was shaking and it was difficult to go to the next customer and smile and ask what they would like me to make them. It took quite some time for that feeling to wear off. I just wanted to punch him in the face. What an arrogant prick! If he ever comes back again I'll refuse to serve him (providing I remember his face, it's possible I won't - but if he tries it again he'll get the same reaction from me.) I am such an honest person it is a major insult to me called a liar, not once or twice, but several times - especially when I know for a fact that he was the one lying through his teeth - oooh it makes me mad just thinking about it again!!

At least I got to drive my manager's car to another store this afternoon to pick up some eftpos paper and some bread (we were so busy we almost ran out!). That was a really nice stress reliever after a busy day, and especially cool since I had a dream last night that I somehow got my car back and went driving all over the place in it! :D

I ended up working (officially) until 4pm, but stayed until well after 5 to help get sorted out, the place is probably still a mess! So, yay for more hours at least!

My hair over the last few months...

Sun, 23 Nov 2008 08:56:42 GMT

Let's see if I can remember how to do this now...

This is just after I had it cut the first time (I'm intentionally posing like that!) The before-dye pics aren't very easy to see.

Then there was me with ole Frankenstein's monster. Both of these were taken in New Zealand. :-)

Then I came back to Aussie and Ruth dyed my hair, it's orange with purple streaks but you can't see the purple streaks at all, which is a shame but never mind!

And with my most recent cut, the shortest I've ever had it!

It's been more than 3 weeks now since I got it cut short and I already feel like I need it cut again, but then I did when I got it cut medium height as well. Maybe I need to get a pic or two of it without hairspray in it. Then again, maybe I shouldn't be taking pictures of every hair cut I get. :-p

I haven't posted for months and months...

Sat, 22 Nov 2008 08:48:24 GMT

And not entirely because I haven't had the internet, I mean I was online all the time back before I went to NZ and just couldn't work up the enthusiasm for it. But now I am back online again after months of drought and while I might not post heaps I do plan on posting in here again from time to time! :-)

I've had my hair cut and dyed different colours twice, and I'm liking the easy short hair at the moment, though it took a bit of getting used to. I'm working a full 38 hours this rostered work week which is a big thing for me, I only got about 25 last week and I told my manager that because of the low amount of hours I was going to have to look for another job to supplement my wages. She understood, but it's not her I have to worry about - she'll give me hours and then the owners look over her rosters and change them. Sometimes I don't know why they bother with some of the things. It's funny how everywhere you go there are dramas. At least the people I work with are good sorts for the most part and I get on well with all of them - it really does make all the difference! Of course, if the owners keep going the way they're going they're going to end up with a shop and noone to work in it. Everyone who worked last weekend got a written warning because money has been going missing for months, and more money went missing, they can't prove who it is no matter what they do, so they gave us all a warning about our cash handling and our safe drops. Which is ridiculous because if you get three written warnings you automatically lose your job. We're all being punished for something we didn't do (bar one, I presume).

Even the manager got a written warning for leaving the change bag out for me one night - they've taken to locking it up in the safe at night when the manager's not around, which then makes it very frustrating on a busy night when we keep running out of change in the till and have to keep sending a junior to pizza hutt or the newsagent to get some change - they should provide it for us!

Ahh well.

That's all for now I think, prolly have lots to talk about but can't think of anything right now. Early to bed tonight as I'm opening at work tomorrow and even though we only get paid from 7:30 I and a few of the others get there at 6am to make sure everything gets done so they're not behind for the rest of the day, and I've got two lots of sub platters to make tomorrow, joy! (Working at Subway for those who didn't know already).

Free wi-fi in Hong Kong baby!!!!

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 11:23:06 GMT

Not there yet, spent approximately 11+ hours on a plane from the UK and it's somewhere around 6:30pm in Hong Kong, my flight is at 11:05pm local time so I've got a bit of a wait. I've actually no idea where I'm supposed to go but my stomach needs fuelling and I'd like to see out through some windows at some point too if I can!

Then I've got another 12 and a half hour flight to Brisbane, and I prolly won't get much sleep as they have several interesting in-flight movies...

Oh yeah and I finally managed to ring my brother in the middle of the night for him to see if he wanted anything from the duty-free.

Day 4

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 11:20:56 GMT

Friday 20^th June.

Sindy had to get up early to go to her seminar but she would be finished around lunch time. I of course could barely move because of my poor legs so I got up around 8:30am, made myself a cuppa, washed the few dishes and then was about to jump in the shower (so I could put some jeans on instead of my shorty pyjamas where my legs were constantly rubbing) but just then Sindy’s brother Robert came home and we started chatting. He’d brought some rolls home for breakfast so we chatted for a bit. After a while he had to head off to a dentist appointment and I very relieved-ly took a shower. It’s a bit of a blur now whether I went and met Sindy somewhere, which I /think/ I did or stayed – oh yes, I think I went online and waited for her to come back home, and then we went back to the flat to get our bags and head off to the place where we were to meet our ride to Leipzig. (pronounced Lype-zish). There’s a really useful website they have there in Germany (and possibly other places) where you can find people traveling the same way you are, and you give them 10 Euros for the trip. It’s a really good premise I reckon, though I don’t think it’s quite as erm, strict on membership like Couchsurfing is, though you can give feedback on your experience.

It took us a little bit to find the place where we were to meet the guy driving us, but we managed it without too much trouble. Then we had to wait for him to find his cell phone. There was another guy traveling with us as well and Sindy and I took the back while he rode in the front.

Unfortunately we hit traffic before we’d even got halfway to Leipzig, and unfortunately it was reasonably warm and unfortunately there was no air conditioning in the car and noone wanted a window open (except me :-p) so I was quite warm for most of the trip. I was quite glad when we had a pit stop at a ‘services’, not sure what they’re called in Germany though. Toilet break and cold drink later I felt much better! What was supposed to be a 2 hour trip turned out to be 3 hours and we didn’t end up getting there until quite late, around 8:30pm. We were dropped off at the train station and then Sindy and I had to wait for her boyfriend Kilian to arrive.

He arrived at last and then we decided to look around the train station as our train wasn’t due for a good 20 minutes – that place is massive! And! When the train pulled up it was two-storeyed! It was way cool but I didn’t get any pictures as we had to get on fairly quickly but we did sit up top! There was quite a bit of building going on which was quite ugly really and the trip took maybe 20 minutes. Kilian’s Mum (Sabine) was there to pick us up from the train station in her car and we went back to her place.

Sabine had prepared some food for us which was very nice of her, especially as we arrived so late. I think by the time we got there it must have been about 9pm. We had some food and then sat in the lounge watching the crappy poopy soccer. It only got exciting right at the end. Then we went to bed which was just after 12am I think. I got to sleep in the loft area, on the third floor. The room was quite empty and I just had a mattress on the floor but it’s a very lovely house, and Kilian’s about to move back and use that as his bedroom next month

Cut to the quick...

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 07:49:40 GMT

I really /really/ wish I hadn't just looked at facebook just now. Matt has changed his relationship status to "in a relationship".

I know he didn't really treat me all that well especially towards the end but I can't believe he's with someone else already. Today is my last half day and I've got enough things to worry about. I really didn't need this as well. I can't believe I'm still so upset about it but I can't help it. I wish he'd waited to do that until after I'd gotten on the plane and have no access to the internet for a while.

I know I need to get on with the rest of my life and stop worrying about it but it still hurts...

Day 3.

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 07:30:39 GMT

Day 3.

Oh yeah, I'm not sure when I'll get my pictures loaded up (I took /heaps/ as I was there for a whole week!) but when I do I'll edit them into my posts and then will make a new entry to tell everyone the pictures have been added in. :-)

Thursday 19th June.
Sindy had to go in to school again in the morning so I slept in a bit and then got up and sorted and then headed into town on the train/underground/subway. I thought I might go up in the Reichstag dome, which is open to public and looks really quite cool but I was too busy looking around to get there very early. Sindy and I had arranged to meet at 2pm at a place called Checkpoint Charlie, which, if you don't know, is the place where the Americans held ground and you weren't allowed to pass without the proper documentation. I'd been wandering looking at this and that and by the time I got to the Reichstag it was about 12:30pm. I asked an information person how long it would take to get in to the Reichstag as the line was quite long (and almost always is) and he said it would take 40 minutes just to get in, and then another 10 to get through security and I didn't think I would have enough time. Instead I hopped on a bus and did a bit of sight seeing. I rode the bus to the end, at the Zoological Garden part of the city and then hopped on a bus to come back. I hadn't realised it would have taken so long and the bus got stopped by every red light along the way. (Unfortunately I'd worn my denim skirt and being stuck on that bus for so long made me very very warm, and it was the start of some very painful rubbing between my thighs...)

I finally made it to the train station and it took me a while to find the right platform I needed to get to the place where I was meeting Sindy, so I hopped on the train and made it by about 2:40pm. As Checkpoint Charlie was a site of the Berlin Wall there was a lot of information there about it so we walked along looking at the images and reading some of the facts. Then we hopped on a bus that took us closer into town again. We walked around some more and then went back to the boat tour place (they're everywhere but the one we went to was near the train station). It was just after 5pm by this time but we appeared to be the only two booking on the boat and they were reluctant to make a trip just for the two of us (especially as they would like to have watched the soccer match that was going to be on, apparently) so we went and sat by the canal for a bit.

About 10 minutes later they called us back as an American family had also asked to go on the trip, so they took the 6 of us and we were off! We were asked not to stand while riding in the boat as some of the bridges we would be going under were quite low and they didn't want us to get knocked out! The tour was lovely, if a bit short for my liking but there was only so far you could go before hitting umm... I don't know, like a barrier, at both ends. It was a nice trip anyways!

As there was a soccer game on Sindy was determined to go and see it, I of course detest soccer but she wanted to go so I grumbled and said fine. It wasn't going to be on until nearly 9pm, the Germany game, there was one about 6:30pm ish as well, no idea who was playing then. Sindy decided it would be a really good idea to go to the Reichstag as it wouldn't be very crowded as everyone would be watching the soccer match so we went and stood in line to go up to the dome. Even though there weren't many people there we spent a fair amount of time waiting to go up but it was worth it! The place was so very cool! Unfortunately I was reduced to shuffling along as my legs were really quite painful with the chafing but Sindy didn't mind that I had to go slowly. I think we stayed there but a bit over half an hour. There are some beautiful views from up there!

After that Sindy was determined to find a place that would have a big screen where people could watch the soccer in the streets, so we headed back towards the Brandenburger Tor (well, I shuffled carefully) but there was nothing there! We followed some teenagers all wearing German flags and blowing whistles and went back towards the train station where there was a screen we could see from the road. We got ourselves a beer and a brautwurst sausage and found a good spot to sit. Unfortunately it became quite crowded and necessary to stand up. There were some teens who came and settled near us and got in my line of sight of the tv and apologised, and I told them I didn't even care, I'd never watched before etc. The game started and more people kept walking in front of us where they could see but began to block our view (even standing) and we saw Germany score two goals. The crowd in the streets went wild! People were hugging and cheering and letting off fireworks, it was mad! LOL

It started to rain and I didn't have a jersey or anything with me, just the singlet and skirt I was wearing, but it wasn't raining too much so we stuck it out for a while. Unfortunately after Germany scored the second goal it really started to pour. I was freezing and said to Sindy I couldn't stay, and if she stayed there I'd go to the train station to see if I could find something to wear, but she said no she would leave as well. It was bucketing down and I could only painfully waddle along because the chafing on my legs was really bad by this time. It was pretty funny though! The rain was pouring into my eyes and I could barely see and I was in so much pain from my legs but I was laughing as we headed for the train station! We made it onto a train, after wandering around the station for a bit (I thought to get to the train but Sindy was looking for a screen she could see the score from!! I wish she'd told me as I would have waited in one place for her, my legs were really bad.) We caught the train back home and finally made it back to where Sindy lived. I tell you what, that 4 flights of stairs up to her flat that night was the worst thing ever!!

We got back and I changed straight away out of my wet things and into my pyjamas and finally got a good look at my legs. They were massive raised red lumps, maybe 20cm in diameter, maybe more. They were /very/ /very/ painful!! I couldn't believe it! I'd never had a rash that bad before, but always before I'd been able to do something about it. I went straight to bed as it was the only place I could sit with my legs apart. Sindy sprayed something the really stung on them, and she got settled for bed and we went to sleep maybe about 11pm.

What a day!!!

Day 2!

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 06:50:56 GMT

Day 2!

Wednesday 18th June.
Sindy had to go to school in the morning but she gave me a key before she left and said she would be back just after lunch. I didn't know my way aroud yet so I just came to the internet cafe to check emails and stuff, did their dishes and watched the view from their balcony while I waited for Sindy to get back. When Sindy came home we had some lunch and then finally headed into town. It's hard to remember now what we did that first day... Oh yes, we went right to the centre of Berlin and we were going to go up into the needle tower (I can't quite recall the name of it... Fernsehturm or something) but they'd put the prices up to 9.50 euro, Sindy was going to shout me the trip up but it was a bit much. We walked through park areas (they have them all through the city) and along one of the roads, looking at shops and fountains and things, it was pretty cool though it was quite warm. She kept saying I could go into this museum or that museum but for me I don't visit cities to see museums, I'd rather look at the outsides of buildings and such. We wandered aimlessly for a bit and then caught a bus to go a bit further down to the parliament building called the Reichstag. I took some pictures of it but we decided not to go up yet. Just around the corner was Brandenburger Tor, or the Brandenburg Gate, so we went and took pictures of that. Then we went for a walk towards one of the canals and sat watching the boats go past on the canal for a while. We walked a bit longer and check out prices for a boat tour, and then went back towards the Reichstag and caught another bus, which took us on a bit more of a tour. Then we went back to the train station and stopped off at a weirdish supermarket on the way home to get some stuff for tea and headed back. We had some dark german bread, which was okay. :-)

We were pretty tired from the wandering we'd been doing so we crashed pretty early again, maybe 10:30pmish.

Germany Ho!

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 08:34:39 GMT

Wow, I don't have much time right now but think I might be able to start with the first day, if this old keyboard at the internet cafe I'm at will let me type properly!

Tuesday 17th June
Let me think, I hadn't packed anything but I knew it wouldn't take me long to pack, so I was still in bed, online at 9am. Then I got up and had a shower, hoping that the boxes I'd ordered to send some of my stuff home would arrive in good time for me to start packing them. I packed my bag for Germany, and then started packing my suitcase to go back to Brisbane. By 11:30 I'd done all the packing I could do without the boxes I needed and then I started fretting that they werenät going to arrive in time for me to start packing them before th Germany trip, which meant that I'd hve to do it all on the last day I'm in the UK, and I've got to clean on that day as well.

The time came for Steve to take me to the bus station in Chepstow where I would catch the bus to Bristol, and from there to Bristol airport, and the boxes still hadn't arrived. On the way through Sedbury though we saw the van, and as there was a bit of a mess (trucks parked on both sides of the road) the traffic wasn't moving, so I jumped out and ran up to the van to ask him if he was delivering to me. He was so he pulled over and gave me the boxes, which Steve said he would put in my room when he went back home. Then he dropped me off t the bus station. I had about 5 minutes before the bus was due to arrive and I ran across the road to the post office to chnge some money into euros, as I wasn't able to go out earlier because I'd been waiting for the boxes to arrive. I only got 60 euros for 50 pounds!!

I managed to catch the bus, the wait in the post office had me a bit freaked! I think the ride to Bristol was about 4.20 pounds, once I got to Bristol I had to wait a bit for the bus to the airport, and though it was a shorter ride than the trip to Bristol, it was 6 pounds for a ticket! UGH! Anyways, I got there no problem and as I checked in online I just went straight through to security and waited for my flight. I finally managed to get a decent seat in front of the wing with an actual window!

I arrived in Berlin and when I gave my passport to the dude in the window he spent a bit longer rubbing the passport over the plate they have to read the card we have in our ones now, and I suddenly thought 'Oh shit!!!!' as it had never occurred to me that I might need a visa to come visit, I never thought about it once! He let me through after a bit though, didn't even check to see that I had a ticket to go back out of the country again! Sindy was there to meet me and we walked to the train station, and then from there took a few trains back to her place. When we got there we had a doner kebab, which is quite different to the english style ones, and sat out on her balcony to eat them (she lives on the 4th floor) and even though it was maybe after 10pm by then, it was still warm enough to sit out there in a t shirt or singlet and not be cold! So different to the UK!! Sindy's brother Robert was there as well and he chatted to us for a while. I could see Sindy was quite tired though, she'd been up early for chool so we went to bed quite early for me. :)

Oops!

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 07:54:09 GMT

How do you cut your post so the large body of your text and photos don't take up massive amounts of space? *blush*

I'm off to Germany today, I hope the boxes I'm arranging to send back to Perth arrive in good time today so I can start packing them before I have to go. Of course, it's almost 9am and here I am still sitting in bed, and I haven't even packed for Germany yet! LOL

Oh yeah, I 'lost' another set of friends yesterday. These people are frigging crazy! Remember Vicki and Lorna the lesbians I went on holiday with last year? (And I've always believed the only reason they invited me was because I had a car) They couldn't make it to the BBQ and on the night sent me a text asking to meet up some other night. I was too busy doing BBQ stuff to reply but saw Lorna later that night on MSN. They said they were free Monday night and I told her then that it was the night before I was going to Germany and might not have the time, so she said to let them know. I said I wouldn't know until the day because I've so much to be done.

She texted me yesterday afternoon asking me if I was coming up. I sent one back saying 'shit, no sorry! Currently washing my car and I've got so much stuff to do and I'm waiting for the guy who's buying my car to come drop off the deposit' (which by the way he DID!!! WOOTS!) Then I get a text back from her; 'Fine your loss. You wanted us to come to party but didn't give us enough notice so we offered to meet up you, you turn it down you lose out' *blink blink* WTF?? These are the girls who every time I organised to go around and see them or to go to the movies with them they would cancel on me, and it was always me who had to put the effort in and go to their place or whatever, the only time they've been to my place was once when they came to pick me up for the movies for a change (I demanded they drive me for a change) and then spent the entire car journey ignoring me playing on a nintendo DS (Vicki was busy driving, of course).

I sent a text back saying 'What the fuck? There's no need to be nasty I can't help it if I'm busy on the last couple of days I'm in the country!' And again I got 'Whatever. Your loss not ours.'

Oy! I wasn't so much upset by this as pissed off! I definitely couldn't believe it was happening to me again! I went around afterwards to Mel's place down the road, she and her daughter Lucie (who may come visit me in Aussie!) came to the BBQ and brought some home made kebabs and meat patties (which they only call burgers over here and people keep getting confused when I call them patties lol) so I took their dishes back, and when I mentioned what Lorna had said Lucie said to me 'Oh well they'll be still stuck in Sedbury 10 years from now and you'll be off travelling the world' which is so true and I feel so much better now!

Aaah well! I suppose I'd better start sorting myself out and packing my suitcase for Aussie as I'll only have a day when I get back to do it in. Which I'll spend some time doing some cleaning because I need the money. Then they'll be picking the car up that night. And paying me in cash I expect which then means I'm going to have to ask Steve to take me to the bank so I can deposit the money or something. I wonder if the post office would be able to change to Aussie money... I doubt it.

Scotland, part 2!

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 21:45:18 GMT

I found the ice cream pics I was talking about! :D

So, where were we...?

Sunday 8th June.
We had originally planned to wake up about 8 and leave by 9:30, but only Bamy was up on time, I got up about half past 8 and Kerianth started getting the kids up a bit after that I think. We had a nice breakfast of bacon butties, which I haven't had in aaaaages, and were finally ready to leave by about 10:30am I think.
We headed off to Edinburgh and parked at the castle car park and walked up the hill and steps to get to the top.

We rang H and Bardie to see where they were and had a quick look around, there was a guy dressed up like Braveheart so I took a picture. :-)

We found the others after waiting for ages, but turns out we weren't far enough into the castle, and decided to have an ice cream, then we took a few more pictures and decided that 13 pounds for an adult was far too much for any of us to pay to actually go into the castle.

We decided to head off down the Royal Mile, leading downhill from the castle.

We moseyed in and out of shops, looks at stalls along the way, there was even a magician! I was naughty and spent 9 quid on a wooden celtic designed necklace that I think it quite cool! On the way down we took a detour off one of the roads to go and visit the coffee house made famous by the fact that J.K. Rowling wrote Harry Potter there, it's called The Elephant House.

We had a stop in there for a hot drink (I actually bought a mocha because I was so tired from the lack of sleep (for me!) ) but I have to admit that we received very poor service in there. It was like the entire place relied on their fame to get customers in, and didn't give a damn after that...

Having said that, one of the waiters saw H trying to get a picture of us all and offered to take one for us so we got one!

After we went from there, we went a little further down the road, where they had the famous Greyfriars Bobby statue. Yes Sandi, I got these pics for you! (message me if you want all of them!) The cemetary where he'd waited for his mater was only just across the road, but the statue was out all by itself.

After that we continues down the Royal Mile, and called into Subway to grab some lunch as they were doing a deal, 2 meals for 5.99, which was pretty damn good really! We ordered what we wanted and carried our subs towards the bottom of the Royal Mile, Kerianth had said there were some nice green places to sit near Hollyrood, the Queen's residence when she's in Edinburgh, apparently - I'd never heard of it until that day :D

A couple of views on the way down;

We finally got to the bottom end and picked a nice place to sit and have our lunch (which I think it was well after 2pm at this point!

We headed for the steps sort of to the left of the two trees in the middle of that picture /\ - everyone else sat on the steps but I plonked on the grass! We had an enjoyable lunch and then I stretched out to enjoy the sunshine, and H decided he'd snap a few shots.

And Kerianth decided to sneak up on me and tickle my feet!

And he got a really nice shot of me which I really like!

Thankfully though, he didn't take any pictures of a little while after that while I was lying down and the kids decided to attack me with grass and clover, it went all in my hair, all down my top, into my pants and underwear - everywhere!! LOL When we went to the loo at Hollyrood later I littered grass everywhere! Heheheh.

Oh no, he did too!!!

After that though we had to hoof it back up the Royal Mile, which was a lovely wee trek when you're in a slight hurry let me tell you now!

We bid farewell to Bardie and H as they had to split up to get to the train station and we needed to get Bamy to hers, and kept trekking up the incline - whew!

Instead of dropping Bamy off at the train station in Glasgow Kerianth said it would be easier to drop her at Motherwell which was a stop you go past on the way (we stopped off at Maccas for tea), but unfortunately when we got there the rather rude man at the ticket/help desk informed us there were absolutely no trains going south that afternoon/evening. Bamy stood there gobsmacked, the poor thing! I couldn't believe it either. So, after we recovered from the shock, Bamy came back to Strathaven with us and we planned to get up at 5am so we could take her and drop her off for the earliest train back to Preston as she had a severe talking to the bank to do, and a driving lesson to boot!

I think that evening we were all pretty tuckered out from the busy weekend, the kids went straight to bed and Bamy and I caught up online while Kerianth sorted them out. We got to bed at a reasonable time, for that weekend holiday, though I think it was about half 12 or so!

Monday 9th June.
We got up hella early to take Bamy off to the train station - to think they were surprised that I volunteered to go along, like I was going to stay asleep on the last day I might see her for a while! We got to the train station early this time and waited for the train to arrive. After Bamy took off on the train Kerianth and I did a spot of shopping at the Asda as we were out of bread and milk - you know, the important things and headed back home. It was terrible! I remember saying to Kerianth at 8am when the kids finally dragged themselves out of bed that we'd been awake for 3 hours already! LOL

Made sure the kids said goodbye to me before they headed off to school and then once they were all sorted and I was all packed Kerianth took me to the closest train station to head into Glasgow. She had to take her son in to the orthodontist and we both figured it'd be nicer if I went into Glasgow rather than waiting around (and she'd meet me later for lunch). Which is true, but compared with Edinburgh Glasgow is boring! I got off the train and went out into the streets and I think I was the only tourist there! Sure, there were people there from other places but I was the only person looking around at the buildings and taking pictures and stuff. I went to the local mall and got a few goodies for Kerianth to give the kids as a treat that Bamy had gotten them addicted to the day we picked her up :D Then I wandered around the mall, which to me was hella boring as I'm way more into the sights than crappy shops where I can't buy anything because A) I couldn't spare any cash for that and B) I don't have the space for any more crap!

I actually went looking for the information centre, I followed one sign telling me to go one way, until I got to another sign telling me to go back the way I'd come. I'd been looking at all the shops but hadn't seen it anywhere! Stupid things! So I moseyed some more and got really quite bored! I didn't want to go too far afar as I wasn't sure which way would take me somewhere interesting and I knew I was in the central area and didn't want to make it difficult for Kerianth to pick me up. She got me in the end and took me a bit further down so we could find some lunch. Unfortunately we were a bit pressed for time as she had to drop me off at the airport which was out of town and be back at school to pick up her daughter so we had a quick look around a shop or two then grabbed some lunch and ate in the car. Then she dropped me off at the airport and we said our farewells. I'll tell you now Kerianth is the best hostess ever! She knows so much about the history all over the place up there and she's just so genuine I've no doubt that she's the main reason why I enjoyed myself so much while I was up there!

So I got to the airport and checked in. Unfortunately my flight was going to be delayed by half an hour and I started freaking out that I was going to miss the train I'd booked but decided if I was there wasn't anything I could do about it and so forgot about it. I was one of the first as I was there so early and when I checked in they asked me if I'd like a window seat, so I said yes please and can I not be over the wing this time? The woman asked me if 7A would be okay, it's forward of the wing and I said yes as long as it's not over the wing! I had ages to wait so I went to the gate and settled myself down with my book. Unfortunately there was a rather noisy toddler right behind me but it can't be helped. I tried to snooze for a bit but it was impossible. We finally get onto the plane and I discover - to my complete and utter dismay that while seat 7A is most definitely a window seat, there's NO FUCKING WINDOW!!!!! What. The. Fuck. I said to the guy sitting in the aisle seat 'this is what they call a window seat!?!?!?' and he sympathised with me. I could /not/ believe it. There's no way the woman at the desk who checked me in wouldn't have known that, and I was one of the first - she didn't appear to be in a bad mood or anything so why the hell did she do that?!?!? I could see through a tiny triangle of the window of the seat in front of me (who, by the way, had two windows on their seat, why didn't she give me that seat!!!) Ugh. It's a bit claustrophobic riding in that seat, I mean even if I'm riding in the aisle seat I'm used to being able to look out the window!

Anyways, I'm over it now and I'll know what to ask for next time LOL! As we came in to land the pilot announced that we'd made up the lost time and were now on schedule again! Relief!! I don't know how it happened but I came straight off the plane, through the airport and just managed to catch the gondola thing to the train station, and as I got to the train station I just managed to catch a train heading for Birmingham New Street. I guess luck was making up for the shitty window seat or something LOL. I got to Birmingham, asked what platform my train would be leaving from and then went back to the Bullring to make my way to find some food (I really fancied some KFC but couldn't find one so I had BK instead). I made it back to the train station and noticed on the screen it said a different platform to the one the woman at the help desk had told me so I went back to check again. She told me again that it was supposed to leave from platform 1A but the screens even there were telling me Platform 10B, all the way down the other end! I went down there and in the end asked a conductor dude, who then told me that platform 10B was certainly the right place, they'd had to change where the train was supposed to be and she must not have had the updated information. I'm just glad I don't always believe blindly what people tell me anymore!

I jumped on the train and was promptly par-boiled! The coach was frying!! So I sat in the heat for a good 10 minutes before the driver started the train and mentioned the fact that coach D (the coach I happened to be on)'s air conditioning had packed in, and that he recommend that anyone sitting in coach D move to another coach to enjoy the air conditioning *rolleyes* not everyone moved but I sure as hell did! I don't think the woman I sat next to had really wanted to share a seat but that's tough titties! I read my book as we went as I'd watched the scenery on the way up, and got off at Cheltenham Spa. At which I had about an hour's wait before I could catch the next train going to Chepstow. Whee! So I propped my feet up on my bag again and kept reading. Finally caught the train to Chepstow about 9:45pm and rode home. Steve rang to double-check what time he needed to come pick me up and I got home just after 10:30pm. Boy was I tired by then!

All in all it was a spectacular trip and probably the best time I've had since being in the UK! I'm so glad I went and I really didn't actually have to spend that much money while I was there either. The best holidays! LOL

It's Thursday night now, Steve's been cleaning the house all week in preparation for my going away BBQ tomorrow, Monday he spent working on the garden outside and it looks really good and most other days this week he's been cleaning up inside the house (not that it really needs a whole lot of attention, but it really does look a whole lot nicer now!

I'm a bit iffy though as I asked him today if he was going to be in charge of the BBQ and he said no, so I dunno, maybe I'll end up being stuck doing that the whole time. I hope a fair few will come but we'll see. I know of at least 4 or 5 different people who are coming and am fairly sure there's be another 10 or so, from the different people I've invited so it'll be a nice afternoon/evening anyways :D

I set it on the Friday because I was thinking maybe I'll do something or go somewhere else over the weekend but now I'm not so sure... Oh yeah, I got a parking ticket today because I needed to run into the bank quickly so I could transfer some money so I could pay for the boxes I'm going to have sent home asap, and I got a 30 pound parking fine. *le sigh*

What a weekend!

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 21:23:57 GMT

Wow, first off just though I'd mention (again) that I had an awesome weekend! So you can read without fretting that bad stuff happened this time. LOL!

Thursday 5th June.
Got up, not early, not too late either. Finished off packing as I'd not been able to decide what to take with me and Steve dropped me off at the train station about 10:40am. Caught the train headed for Cheltenham Spa, a woman standing waiting with me on the platform thought I needed to get off at Gloucester but my ticket only said one change at Cheltenham. So, naturally, when the train pulled up at Gloucester I fretted, wondering if the woman was right, but doubting anyone not official. A woman got on the train and I double checked with her that the train was going to Cheltenham and it was so I settled in again. When I got to Cheltenham there was a little old lady who was fretting if she was getting on the right train and I reassured her that the train was definitely for Birmingham (I'd asked a helper dude, not really a conductor). Somehow she ended up sitting next to me on the train and gabbing away at me pretty much the entire time it took to get to Birmingham. Oh well, I guess I have a friendly face or something ;-)

I got to Birmingham (had to pay 30p to use the damn toilet!!) about 12:30ish and as my plane wasn't until 7ish I went out of the train station for a mosey. Right outside of the train station is a gigantic mall-ish type thing called the Bullring. I wandered around the streets for a bit looking at shops and stuff, but my bag was getting heavier and heavier. I spent a tiny amount of time ogling the suitcases on wheels they had in a few stalls along the street, but couldn't buy one as I didn't know if the dimensions would be okay for me to take on the plane in my carry-on luggage. So I went looking for an information centre. I spent a long time looking at the map of the bullring trying to figure out exactly how it went, and I'll tell you it took me some time! I managed to find it at last and they told me the bullring had some storage lockers, which would be cheaper than at the train station. So I went back and it took me a while but I finally managed to find them and offload my increasingly heavy bag.

I can't really remember what I did for a while, just looked at the shops I think. I had a 'buffet' lunch at pizza hutt, but discovered, to my dismay that the ice cream wasn't included, which sucked as the pizza had been a bit dry as well, then when I came to pay somehow or other I got flustered and ended up giving a 2 pound tip - so I ended up paying 10 pounds for a couple of pieces of dry pizza and a bit of salad (which admittedly as fine) and a drink. What a rip off! After that I decided that I'd had enough time looking around and that I wanted to find the Cineworld cinema to go sit in a movie to waste some time. Back to the information centre. He told me it was about a 20 minute walk, or just a few minutes by bus, and of course I'd walk! He gave me a map and I set off. I wasn't walking too slowly but kept stopping to look at different things and take pictures of things.

I got lost a few times even with the map and had to ask for directions from a couple of people. One guy pointed me through a building, to get to the road I was aiming for - how are you supposed to know that by looking at the map? My feet were starting to hurt quite a bit as I wasn't wearing good walking shoes unfortunately. Anyways I finally got to the movies only to find that none of them finished at a good time for me to get back to the train station, to catch the train that went to the airport. So I turned around and walked back out again, realising that I needed to find an internet cafe as the page I'd printed with my flight details, for some reason or other, had missed off the flight times and I wasn't sure exactly what time the flight was.

I caught a bus back to town this time as my feet were really sore - if I'd've had my sneakers I would have been fine, but two pairs of shoes would have been too much to bring with me. Back to the information centre to ask about internet cafes and went off to find it. I checked my flight details, a bit of KT, emails etc and then decided I didn't really want to hang around being bored, so I went and got my bag and went back to the train station and caught a train to the airport. What I didn't realise that once you get to the airport from the train station there's like a little monorail/gondola/airbus? type thing that takes you from the train station right to the airport, it was quite cool! So I checked in and plonked myself down on a seat with my book, shoes off and feet propped up on my bag. I was rather early so I had a while to wait but that was okay with me. It was getting close to boarding time when I realised I should eat something as by the time I got to Scotland it would be about 8:30 and possibly later, depending on how quickly I'd get out and so I grabbed a burger at BK and scarfed it as the boarding light came on while I was standing in line.

The flight was okay, I had a window seat but it was over a wing and they announced when we got close that there were showers in Glasgow. Got a bit wet going from the plane to the terminal (I was the last one off because I had to wait for everyone to go past to get my bag out or something) and sent Kerianth a text saying I'd arrived. She sent me one saying she was stuck in traffic at some roadworks so I settled in again with my book for a bit. After a while I got up and walked outside, and she rang me saying she was at the drop off - after following her directions to find it, I made it to her car! :D They really hadn't been kidding about the rain... it was a thunder and lightning storm! Sometimes it was raining so hard you couldn't see through the windscreen and there was so much surface water on the road, apparently it had been nice earlier in the day! As we drove along Kerianth pointed places out to me which was cool, but I could hardly see a thing. We got back to their place in Strathaven (pronounced Strayven)and I was introduced to her kids and husband. Actually I can't remember exactly what we did after we got back, but I do remember being very tired - oh yeah that's right, Kerianth had to fill out a job application form so I went online for a bit and then went to bed (fold down couch in the lounge) and read my book. A late night for me, 1:30am, later even, I think, and there's Kerianth cheerfully saying it's her first early night in ages! LOL

Friday June 6th.
Woke up as the kids got ready for school and I got up for breakfast with the family. Before school is very hectic in that house! LOL Kerianth's husband boiled me an egg and then looked at me funny when I peeled it, waited for it to cool down, and then shoved the whole thing in my mouth. I love em! (Damnit! I forgot to buy eggs today!) Ummm, Kerianth got the kids off to school and I had a shower. Kerianth came back and we had a chat until she had to go to her doctor's appointment, then she dropped me in town on her way. Strathaven. Nice little town really! I had a walk around and poked in the few shops there and then headed off to look at the castle, which there isn't much left of but I did get a few photos.

There's a nice little walk down behind it as well but it's all cluttered up with rubbish and beer bottles and such. :-( I met up again with Kerianth after she came back to town and we went to her favourite bakery and bought some rolls to take home for lunch. Then we had yet another chat and I think then it was time to pick up the kids. We drove around Strathaven because her son is having a birthday party and they needed to deliver the invitations, so I had a nice tour! We stopped off to see Kerianth's good friend and were there chatting for a while and we didn't end up getting back until after 7 I think. We tried to decide what to have for tea so I volunteered to make some of my wedges, which I love, and Kerianth cooked some chicken and we had it all with ratatouille - it was rather tasty! The kids went a bit wild over the wedges and I think Kerianth will have to make them again sometime... LOL We were up late again, it just seems to happen - I think it's light later up there than it is down here and you just don't realise how late it actually is. Headed to bed again by 1 or 1:30am I think...

(Will post some more later/tomorrow as it's taking ages to type up!)

P.S. I just realised I never typed up what I did the weekend before, when I went to York and Preston, though I think I spent most of my time driving! Will have ot remember that later as well.

Saturday 7th June.
We slept in today, not sure how late we slept but noone was up early! Got up possibly 8:30ish, Kerianth's daughter had a rehearsal she had to go to and we had to clean up a bit so Bamy (who was heading up on the train) would have a bed to sleep on. I hung up some washing and helped a bit. We started sorting out stuff we could take along on a picnic with us so we didn't have to spend too much money on food. Kerianth picked up her daughter and we slowly got ourselves ready to leave, so many things to sort out! But, we were finally in the car and heading off to Glasgow to pick up Bamy from the mall she'd been wandering in, and then H and Bardie, who'd headed up to Edinburgh from York the day before. Soon the car was full of people and we set off on our journey! We'd decided that we'd go to Loch Lomond for the afternoon so we set off for a nice drive, the scenery was amazing! We stopped off at one of the parking places and made our way down to the loch.

Stony though it was I had to take my shoes off and go into the water and Bamy and the kids weren't far behind me!

We had a nice picnic while we enjoyed the sunshine and scenery there. I made a little tribute to New Zealand that hopefully one person saw and understood before someone trampled all over it!

Then we headed off for a drive around and heading back down towards Glasgow in the end, the scenery was beautiful!

We couldn't decide exactly what we should do but in my heart of hearts, I knew we had to stop for ice cream! So we did! I forget the name of the place now, will nab some of the pics H took at some point, of us eating ice creams. :D We thought we'd find a fish and chip shop in one of the towns along the waterfront and eat out on the grass as it was a beautiful afternoon/evening, but we kept going through places and not finding any! The ones we did see weren't the typical english fish and chip shops, and looked dodgy to boot so we kept going.

In fact, we kept going until we got back to Glasgow! After a while we somehow decided that we would have pizza hutt for tea as it's not too pricey so we parked up and went for tea at pizza hutt :D It was a nice evening. We dropped H and Bardie off at the train station so they could get back to Edinburgh and headed back home to Strathaven. The kids needed to get straight to bed and we chatted for a while just the three of us, though I was majorly tired and they were talking about school stuff here that I don't understand. I think by the time we got to bed it was after 1am again. :-)

Ok I'm too tired to post any more right now. Watch this space!

Stress stress stress!!!!!!

Tue, 27 May 2008 15:59:19 GMT

I went out last night to Radina's farewell like she wanted, she went down for dinner with her colleagues (I dropped her off in her car) and I stayed at home and cooked my own food. I headed into town about 9:30pm and met up with her at the restaurant/bar. I chatted to her and another of the girls who was there. One of her friends who'd come earlier to our house to cut her hair was there as well but she just doesn't talk to me. So we walked up the hill to another pub and Radina was wandering around - there was this one guy who said like 3 sentences to me, wondering who I was. I went to the bar and ordered a coke. Radina disappeared. Her friends - some of whom I'd walked to the bar with stood in a group around the bar with their backs to me having a lovely conversation amongst themselves, and then said 'let's go sit down' (not talking to me) walked all the way around me and went and sat. I had no idea where Radina was so I drank my coke as quickly as possible and left.

I headed across the road to a pub where Steve had said he was, and when I got in there he and Radina were chatting to some blokes. I couldn't believe it. They said 'what's the matter?' Nothing. 'do you want a drink?' no I had to drive home. Then I couldn't help it, I mentioned to Radina that her friends all ignored me, and she tried to shrug it off as just the fact that they know each other - but I would never treat someone new to my group like that, I would include them. (Oh yeah and a younger guy they'd been talking to laughed at me when I bitched that I'd been ignored - he had no frigging idea what I've been going through lately and didn't know me) So they went back to the other pub, I started walking with them but then when they crossed the road to go to the pub I went the other way to go back to my car, Radina vaguely yelled Jaxie at me as she was going in the door, but she could have a good time whether I was there or not. I think I was in town for about an hour. I couldn't help it, it upset me, being ignored again. I didn't want to go out in the first place.

Then when I got home I went onto facebook and saw that Matt had changed his relationship status to single and then I got upset all over again I had been expecting it right from my first text to him but I don't know, it still hurt. I bawled. I also couldn't get to sleep for a very long time.

I hate this.

This morning I was feeling pretty down again but headed off to work about 9:30am. When I got into my car I put my foot on the clutch and it felt really light but I thought it was because I'd driven Radina's car yesterday, but by the time I'd gotten out of the road I knew there was something wrong. Having nowhere to park along the side of the road I kept going to Sedbury, just a minute or two drive and pulled over a bit past the Spar. I sat there for a bit asking myself what I should do. I've got someone who wants to buy my car for 300 pounds on the day I leave, but they won't want it if it's not in working order! How much is this going to cost me to fix? Is it worth getting it fixed? I need /some/ way of getting from A to B over the next couple of weeks. Maybe I'll just have to stop cleaning sooner than I'd anticipated. I won't get to see any more movies.

First I rang the woman I was supposed to clean for this morning, she was very good about it all. I got out and went to Spar and they advised me to call my roadside assistance - I had thought about it but wasn't sure how far my coverage went. I went back to my car and rang them. They told me things were quite busy today and that it could be anywhere up to an hour and a quarter before someone was able to help me. I said okay, thank you. It was very hard not to be upset but I tried my best not to cry. Luckily for me, I happened to have a book in my bag, so I read for a while. I'd sent a few texts out to people telling them what had happened, and had also had a phone call from someone I clean for, and had to text the woman I was supposed to clean in the afternoon for to tell her I wasn't sure if I'd be able to make it today. In all of these messages I get one from Matt's Mum, it said "Can u sort out our dvds and drop them off at ours or Sians, ta". So he's still acting the coward and getting his mummy to contact me instead of doing it himself.

I think I'd been waiting for an hour and a half when RAC rang me to say that they were sorry but it was going to be a fair bit longer than the 75 minutes they'd originally quoted to me. Not much else I could do about that, so I said okay. Course, I needed to pee by that time so I got out of the car and went to Spar to use the loo and grab a drink. I stopped there for quite a while chatting with the girls, not hurrying back to the car because they said they would ring me when the guy was going to come out. Just as I was buying my drink they rang and said 'He's there can you go back to your car please?' Oops! I ran most of the way back (it wasn't too far but a couple of minutes walk) and the guy got out as I arrived. He told me to tell him what was wrong so I did. He opened the bonnet and took a quick look at it and said 'That's easy fixed!' I stood there in disbelief and actually said to him 'Are you sure? Because I don't want to get my hopes up!' He smiled and nodded. I had to stop myself from crying in relief. I still didn't believe it yet... He checked the fluid needed for the clutch (which admittedly I didn't know about, but I did ask those who are supposed to know these things to tell me what I should be checking on my car and noone did!) He said it was empty, though it didn't look empty to me anyways, he put some fluid in and pumped the clutch a fair bit, started the car and said 'Yep, that's done it!' he got me to check it as well, it was so much easier to change the gears and I just couldn't believe it. I must have thanked him about a hundred times (we actually had him called out to us about two weeks ago, we were in Radina's car and we got a flat tyre, so he recognised me from then). He was happy because he said he'd had nothing but horrible call-outs all day so far and he hadn't been able to fix one, so he was happy he could have fixed mine - I was too!! What a relief!!!

So I texted the afternoon woman back to let her know I could go clean after all, and went and got myself some lunch. What a stressful morning, and now I have to make up the cleaning later in the week, so I'm going to be quite busy (good in a way because I need the money but I really don't want to do it).

I'm falling to pieces...

Fri, 23 May 2008 10:45:12 GMT

I don't even know where to begin. I'm sure everyone has seen the fact that Matt has been getting worse with me. I don't really understand it though. I think it started when I had to stop working properly and had a whole lot of nothing to do. That was back in November. He didn't invite me to his place for christmas until christmas eve - I'm here in a foreign country where he knows he's about the only contact I have, and he waits until the day before to not ask, but tell me I'm coming to his place for christmas dinner. What the hell is up with that?

Over the last few months he's been spending less and less time with me. When I would tell him I want to see him during the week he'd sort of agree silently, and then nothing would happen. When I would complain and say we could go to the movies one night during the week since we both have the unlimited tickets, he would say he can't afford it. No idea how that happens as he's paid on a salary and gets I don't know, maybe 6 times more money than I do. I said if he couldn't afford it, we could share the costs, one time I'd drive us over, then he could. He agreed but I think it only happened twice. Of course, he can't afford the fuel to take me to the movies, but he can afford the fuel to go out to Matt and Lauren's place 5 times on one Saturday (15 minute drive or so, compare with the 20-25 minutes to Newport to the movies). He still lives at home with his parents so I can't imagine he has to pay a whole lot of money, it's a 3 income household, they all work full time. I'm pretty sure he pays for groceries a lot but even so, he earns enough...

As I reported, I talked to him after Valentines day and he said the reason he didn't really talk to me was because it was too upsetting, and stupid naive thing that I was, I believed him. I thought he wanted us to be together so I stuck with it - I did love him after all. Even when he stopped texting replies to me when I texted him and continued to ignore me during the week. He used to stay at my place every Saturday night (only ever one night of the week, never two!) But since about February I think he's only stayed over once or twice. Quite often it would be because we'd be staying over at Matt and Lauren's place instead, but other times he just didn't bother.

I began to despair, Matt and Lauren could see what he was doing so they would invite me around to their place during the week, sometimes I would be staying over half the week. They would tell me they couldn't believe the way he was being with me and he started being funny with them as well for a while. It got to a point where other Matt was going to end the friendship because of Matt's behaviour, but I cautioned that he shouldn't end a life long friendship just because he's being weird for a while... He was raking in money from selling stuff he'd salvaged from the skip bins at work on ebay, one thing, I heard him tell someone else, he got 250 pounds for! And of course, we had a holiday to Newquay planned. It was a Sun holiday, organised by a newspaper so that people can go away on holiday cheap. For the 4 of us it would cost 20 pounds each. I gave other Matt my share ages ago, sometime in March maybe, and Matt was being funny and not giving then 20 pounds even when he was getting all this extra money coming in.

Then it was my birthday. Other Matt had told me during one of our many discussions about Matt, that he'd shown him my birthday present, so he knew that he'd at least bought one for me. I took myself to the movies and went shopping in Newport on that day. About lunchtime I got a text wishing me a happy birthday from him and that was it. I spent all afternoon over there just pleasing myself, and when I went to head home I rang Matt and Lauren to ask if they minded if I stopped in on the way home. They said of course. Other Matt had gone out to take his daughter home I think, and it was taking him ages to come back, Lauren and I were getting hungry as it was after 7. Apparently he'd stopped off to see Matt. When other Matt arrived home, he told me that I should text Matt to tell him where I would be. Other Matt had told him that I was up at their place, but apparently he had been planning to come down to my place (Steve's) but instead came to Matt and Lauren's. I said why should I text him to let him know where I should be? He never mentioned anything about maybe coming to see me tonight, why didn't he text me to ask /me/??

After he arrived he mentioned that he'd been going to head down to Steve's place and I said, do you think I would just sit around at home by myself on my birthday? He said he would... He gave me my birthday present. I got some nice smelly candles from his parents, and to tell the truth I was surprised they'd bothered to get me anything at all. His mother has been very funny with me lately. The present I got from him was a swiss army knife in the shape of a credit card. Joy. /Not/ a present you get for your girlfriend. (I was recently reading over what happened last year for my birthday and I got upset.) We all had chinese for tea and after when we were sitting on the couch Matt asked if I wanted to go to a movie the next night - like he was doing me a favour. I said yes, of course.

The next night I waited and waited and waited, I think it was about half past 6 when I texted Matt asking what was going on. He texted me back saying he was having dinner. I didn't hear anything for half an hour so I texted him back again asking if that last text was him cancelling. Then he texted me back saying no, if he was going to cancel he would have said so. I texted him back saying how am I supposed to know (you know, since obviously he'd not said anything about going out) and he replied saying because he would have said. OMG that was so damn frustrating! I think he finally came to pick me up about 8ish.

My sanity is already hanging by threads at this point. It's obvious that we're not going to stay together, I am resigned to this fact, even if I'm sad about it, but it would be so easy to just have an easygoing nice time until I have to leave. Unfortunately I don't think he knows how to do anything of the sort.

We'd been invited to Weymouth for the weekend with Matt's ex coworker and his wife and kids. Weymouth is lovely, I'm glad we didn't go during tourist season though! Unfortunately two nights alone in a bedroom and all he does is go to sleep, despite me trying to get some attention upset me even more. But we're on a weekend with some lovely people and I don't want to spoil it. Of course Rob had made a joke about not wanting to hear the bed creaking but yeeeeeesh! I remember one time the boys went off to get some beers or something from the shop, Rob kissed his wife Katrina goodbye, so Matt came over to me to give me a kiss and say they'd be back shortly. I couldn't believe it. Affection just for show - WTF?? On the Sunday I did manage to convey to Katrina that Matt rarely spoke to me and things weren't going well at all with us, in the hope that she'd tell Rob and he would know. Matt really looks up to him and ever since I've known him Rob would tell me to sort Matt out and get him to take me places and spend money on me.

The weekend after that we spent two nights at Matt and Lauren's place where he actually gave me some attention, two nights in a row, the four of us, plus Charlotte Lauren's daughter went to a plce called Puzzle Wood, it's a lovely bushwalk type thing, very pretty and very green, reminded me a lot of home. Then we went to a pub for lunch. Charlotte was on the end in her high chair, and other Matt sat down close to her, so I sat down on the opposite side of the table. Matt then walked all the way around the table and sat next to other Matt. I looked at other Matt and he looked at me, and I shook my head.

I wrote in my blog at Wolfie's place about my crappy birthday present and the trip to Weymouth. I found out later that week from Sian, the friend of the family that got me into cleaning (she talks to me about Matt a lot) that he'd seen it (I'd given him a link to it last year sometime) but not only that, he'd also either shown or told his mother what I'd said there and apparently she was on the warpath, apparently I was slandering him all over the internet (I think she thought it was facebook rather than just somewhere for my family and friends to read about what's happening to me) but noone who actually knows Matt (bar a few people from KT who met him at the gathers) has ever been shown that place so his 'reputation', whatever that may be, is intact. First off, what does what happens between us have anything to do with her, and secondly what the HELL is he doing showing or telling her that stuff?!?! Sian told me that he'd been around to see them and she'd tried to tell him that he needs to stop telling his mother every little thing that goes on in his life otherwise she'll just get more comfortable in her choke hold on him but I don't think he got it.

That means now that I can't use that blog to post this sort of stuff, because they'll be reading it...

So anyways, we're getting up to present time now. Not last weekend, but the weekend before (10th May) I'd gone out to Matt and Lauren's place on the Saturday night after Lauren had finished work to pick up some of my stuff that Lauren had been helping me sort out, for a car boot sale the next day. Matt showed up unannounced and we all sat having a cuppa and a chat. Matt and Lauren had been invited out to tea at a cousin's place, and they'd been intimating that they were needing to go out. I needed to leave and finish sorting my stuff out so I asked Matt if he wanted to come to my place, as he doesn't have any other friends and Matt and Lauren were going out, it was maybe 6:30pm on a Saturday night, what else was he going to do? He looked at his hands and said 'not tonight'. I pressed my lips together, said a curt goodbye to everyone and literally zoomed off in my car, over speed bumps and all. I was absolutely livid! I was crying on the way home, and when I got home I sent Lauren a text saying they could forget about me going on holiday with that jerk, and then I sent Matt one saying 'I've never been treated so badly in my life by anyone as the passive neglect I get from you. What a fucking waste of a year of my life! Thanks for making me feel special!'

I never got a reply from him or Lauren. I had a car boot sale to sort out. I've been telling Steve what's been going on and he kept me company a while while I was upset. The car boot sale was nice - the most beautiful day we've had here so far this year, about 25C and beautiful sunshine, I got sunburnt. I had to forget about my problems for a day, put them off - you know, serving customers and whatnot. I didn't count my float before I went so I'm not sure how much I actually made, but I think I got almost 100 pounds! I still have a bunch of stuff left and I want to do another one but the weather's supposed to be bad this weekend and I don't have much time left now. The days went by, I would send Lauren a text every now and then (I can't afford to ring) things like 'hey what's happening' then a few days later 'hope you guys are okay, and that I'm not being shunned LOL' (I knew she didn't have any credit on her phone but they have the internet and an internet phone that can ring cell phones for free). On Saturday night (17th May) I think, I saw other Matt online and greeted him, but after a while he went away, I texted Lauren asking 'what's going on'? Nothing.

I also had an argument with Steve, he knew I was lonely and everything I'd been going through so I'd been spending a lot of time on my computer. I set a bunch of star gates loading on my computer and put it on the floor so it didn't get too hot (he complained to me another time when my computer hadn't shut down when I'd turned it off and rushed off because I was late one day). He unplugged it and it lost everything I'd had loaded. I only went to ask him in the future to just shut the laptop because then it keeps everything I have on there, rather than unplugging it, which loses everything, and he went off at me about the electricity. I snapped. It's not fair Steve, I pay rent here and it's not like this is something I do all the time. He said fine, do it outside then. I said oh that's good and leave my laptop out in the rain or something/ He said it's the same as if you took your car down to tescoes and left it running while you went in and did your shopping, I said not even close, since someone could drive off with your car. I repeated that it wasn't fair and I only do it on the odd occasion, and he said I should have texted him to let him know. I said to him he could quite easily have texted me and said 'hey Jac your computer' - it goes BOTH ways. He said 'yeah' and that was the end of the conversation. I think he felt guilty afterwards because Radina said that he said to her that he thought he'd made me mad or something. *rolleyes* Things are okay with us now...

On Monday night (19th) I waited until I knew other Matt would have left for work, and I rang Lauren on Steve's house phone. I asked her what was going on and she started off going on about her problems, she's got another cyst coming through (I helped her out with Charlotte after the operation she had for the last one) and she hasn't really been speaking much to anyone. She's still my friend but she's got to think about herself, and her daughter, and other Matt. I couldn't believe it. Though I think I must have been kidding myself that they might still care after not hearing a word from them for over a week. I asked why noone had bothered to ask if I was okay or anything, she said she was trying to save money by not going online or using the phone (bullshit answers as you don't pay any extra to use the internet or the internet phone), she tried to claim that other Matt thought I had him blocked on MSN, and I said no, I've been sitting online every night in invisible, but noone came online at all. She said she wanted to go away and have a relaxing time on the holiday over the weekend - I said 'what, and I didn't??' I think I spoke to her for about half an hour...
She confirmed to me that Matt had shown/told his mother my blog, she said apparently Matt had said at one point that he admired me for ending it because he couldn't (fucking coward!). He'd said he wasn't going to go on the holiday (23rd May - 26th) but that other Matt said he couldn't have that and apparently talked him into going anyways (I'd heard from Sian that his mother had told him he wasn't allowed to go). I think she misunderstood the reason for me ringing as me wanting to go on the holiday... I could tell she didn't want to be on the phone to me and she said she'd talk to other Matt in the morning and then give me a ring the next night. I just said yeah and let her go. I already found out everything I needed to know. :-(

Needless to say, they never rang me back. I wasn't expecting them to either. How could I possibly want to go away with people who'd shunned me like that? I never would have expected it, and I still can't believe it. I decided I wanted my money back. It might only be 20 quid but I can't afford to pay for someone else to go on holiday.

I had a bad experience while I was cleaning Sian's place yesterday, one of their friends came and knocked on the door while I was cleaning upstairs, I only get paid for 3 hours and I /always/ get irritated by interruptions, especially when I'm working very hard to get a whole lot done in the allotted time. I slowly made my way downstairs, as I'd stacked rugs and vacuum and other stuff on them while I waited for the floor I'd just washed to dry, I go to the front door and he'd not waited and had gone around to the back. The door was locked (I'd shut the dogs out and they jump up and let themselves in on the handle you just push down on) but of course I let him in, he stepped inside and I said he'd better not have dirty shoes on. He walked all the way through to the front door where he'd parked his car and brought two tyres in, and dumped them in a space in the kitchen that was only there because I'd removed everything from that location so I could clean the dog hair from underneath it and mop it clean. I looked at him and said what are you doing, where am I going to put all of that stuff at the back door now? It lives in the kitchen. I have to admit I wasn't in a good mood to start off with, and haven't been for the last 2 weeks, but then he got grumpy and moved the tyres outside - apparently they were supposed to be hidden. Then he left via the back gate so he didn't dirty the floor any more and grumbled as he went off. That just put me in even worse of a mood as I then had to remop the stupid frigging floor, and the fact that he'd gotten grumpy when I complained because he'd come in and then made my job more difficult - where the hell else was I supposed to put all their junk? what would I say to them when they got home? I'm sorry, I left all your shoes out in the rain because your friend saw a nice space he thought he could use? I left Sian a note about it... to top it off, as I was driving home from there (I have to drive past Matt's house) I saw other Matt picking up his daughter. I think he saw me but pretended he didn't, and as I drove past him, I tooted, not cheerfully... I didn't stop because I would be upset and Sarah need not be involved, as well as other Matt's ex, Sarah's Mum. But it upset me all over again and I cried on the way home.

I decided I needed to ring them to ask for my money, and the DVDs I'd loaned them back. I used Steve's house phone to ring them, I rang about 5pm and got no answer, though after I'd rung I thought maybe Lauren had saved the number from earlier when I rang in the week and wasn't answering on purpose. I rang again about an hour later, dialling 141 in front after Steve had told me about it, it makes it so they can't see your number apparently. I tried again about 8pm and half realised that when Matt has Sarah he usually takes her to his Mum's place because he gets more time with her then, rather then driving all the way to their place and home again, so I waited a bit longer and about 9pm I rang again. This time rather than the phone going through to the answer phone, someone picked up and hung up. I couldn't believe it. I rang back straight away and they didn't it again this time but only after 2 rings. I couldn't believe it even more! Then I got my phone out and rang their landline and it went to the answer phone, I rang Lauren's phone and that went through to the answer phone too. This REALLY upset me! I've done nothing to them and they're being so childish by hanging up on me? The least they could do is just listen to what I have to say!!! Maybe they thought I was panicking because they hadn't said anything about the holiday and that I wanted to come but I just want my money and DVDs back!!

I'm cracking. I can't handle this! How can people be so horrible? I've never been anything but super duper nice, they didn't have any reason to do this to me. I thought Matt's treatment of me was bad, but I didn't do anything to them and they're being like this! After all they've done for me over the last few months I never would have thought something like this would happen! I HATE this horrible place!

All my online friends are great, but it seems like that in reality, in this country at least, everyone is happy to be my acquaintance, but noone wants to know me as a close friend. Vicki and Lorna always cancel on me whenever I organise to do something with them. I thought Matt cared about me - he was the one who started the whole thing and caused me to get more emotionally involved! I didn't want a relationship at all! He was the one who told me he loved me first, but the more he got to know me, obviously the less he wanted to know me, or even liked me. Matt and Lauren can't have liked me as much as I thought if they could act this way with me.

So, I can't wait to leave this horrible horrible place. If I'd not had holidays to Scotland and Germany booked I would have moved my ticket up sooner and be leaving a whole lot sooner! I've wasted my time here so completely. First I was au paring for Lance and Kas, they could only put up with me for 6 months before they asked me to leave. Not /once/ have I been invited back to their place, I've been because of KTers gathering but it's so obvious they didn't like me. I told the story about Matt, Matt and Lauren. I'm not allowed to use the water or electricity as much as I need while I'm living here, I'm sick of living in a smoking environment. I can't wait to be back around normal people where things aren't stressful, even when you have no money - believe me, I've been there too. I just wish I'd done something sooner rather than having to rely on my Dad's generosity to keep me going because I didn't earn enough to tide me over for the last 6 months.

On a plus side, I am hoping to have a nice going away party at some point before I leave, Steve has agreed to it and I think is actually looking forward to it, (much better than last year when he went off at me when I had Matt, Matt and Lauren around for tea one night without warning him 5 hours in advance). I've invited some of the old ladies I clean for, and one of the younger ones who I helped because she'd had several operations - she and her daughter are lovely at least! I'll invite most of the girls from spar, and a few other people I know here and there. At this point though, I'm despairing that many will show up, especially of the spar girls because at the moment I just feel like noone wants to know me, but I've had a few yeses already at least.

I'm sure there are many other things I haven't mentioned but I can't think of any right now and I'm sure I've gone on for long enough so I'll leave it at that for now.

:-(

New

Wed, 26 Dec 2007 23:51:52 GMT

Ok so I have a blog, I have a myspace account, I got facebook because everyone else had it but I don't really like it that much, and now myspace is trying to be facebook so I like that less as well.
I don't post regularly at all, my blog is to keep my family and friends updated with day to day stuff. I may or may not post 'different' types of things here.

How do you friends lock something? Oh never mind I see now. I just hate having to have a zillion accounts at a zillion different places, maybe one day they'll have these things compatible or something, like some of the IMs are now.

Ok bye!